The other parts of me 😊

Compliments of the season

Hi Dear Reader,

Compliments of the season to you and yours 🎉🎉🎉

May the season bring you joy, happiness, and fulfillment 🙏.

Long time, no see (like we say in Nigeria). I know I owe you an apology and also an explanation, but I’d like to start with the explanation.

If you'd been here long enough, you would have met my old, depressive self. However, there are other parts of me you’ve not met, which are the reasons you’ve not heard from me in a while. Today, I’d like to introduce you to two of them: my overthinking self and my procrastinating self. Yes, you read that right. I’m an OVERTHINKER and a PROCRASTINATOR.

On October 17th, I wrote a blog post to post the next day. The problem first started when I didn’t know what to title the blog post, then it moved to me being unsure of what I had written and questioning if anyone was going to find any part of it relevant, and then it skyrocketed to me waking up the next day and not feeling like posting it at all. And that, my friend, is how it started.

Every week, I convinced myself I’d get back to writing and maybe write something else if I at least wouldn’t post the previous one. But guess who started procrastinating? Me. Then, week after week, my overthinking self started to convince me that I was not a good writer after all and no one wanted to read what I wrote. And little by little, I unconsciously started to believe it. Work added a bit to it as I got busy at work, but more than that, it was a mind game I was dealing with.

I remember someone reached out to me in November about not getting any blog from Zoewriter and I told the person about how I’m getting used to not writing and in my words “I feel like I’ve been too unstable for people to take me seriously and it’s just fine not to try anymore” and this was his response “The last statement isn’t you, I don’t know who said that to you or where you took that in. But that isn’t you Tosin. For me, you hacked the writing with the consistency of a monthly newsletter. You might just need to internalize and I don’t mind lending an ear so we can talk. This is you, QUEEN OF CONSISTENCY”

These words did so much for me: They encouraged me and brought me back to my reality that I write so well and there’s at least still someone who would always be willing to read what I write. Even though I didn’t come back to writing immediately, after that day, every time I think about Zoewriter, it was those words that were my motivation. And that’s why I’m writing to you today because I made a promise to myself that the overthinker in me will not get the better part of me into the new year.

That’s the story of why I have been away for so long.

I’d like to apologize to everyone who has been a part of Zoewriter and has believed in my ministry. I’m so sorry for staying far away from you and letting my overthinking self win. I’m sorry for thinking you don’t take me seriously and wanting to give up totally. I’m really sorry. I’m also sorry for how I mess with your emotions, taking you high and low in this writer-reader relationship. I apologize and I trust God to help me do better in the new year. I hope you find a big space in your heart to forgive me.

Instead of asking myself if I really had anything relevant/inspirational to say to you today, I chose to write to you regardless, so that I don’t give the procrastinator and overthinker in me more joy.

Cheers to writing to you next year, regardless of what my overthinking self thinks 🥂🥂

See you in 2024 🥂🥂