Dear Father,
Itās been a week since I wrote to you and I must say that the love has been overwhelming š¤. I know I still have much to say to You but before I begin, Iād like to say a big āThank youā to You.
Thank you for how you embraced me and showered your love on me after my first letter to you š. Thank you for how youāve started helping me make little choices by the day to improve our relationship. Thank you for that soothing voice of Yours that Iām beginning to hear again š¤. Thank you for giving me the gift of men who have started to help me up back in my Relationship with You š.
It amazes me that even though Iām not done with my confessions to You, Youāre already forgiving me. Your arms are ready to receive me. Youāre back to treating me as Your daughter that Iām. Thank You Father, Iām really grateful š. This love is overwhelming š¤. But as the overthinker that Iām š¤¦, I canāt fully accept this love until Iām done with my confessions and thatās why Iām back again today to continue.
Before we parted ways, I needed money so badly and was ready to do everything to have it. So, I thought maybe I could just find other ways to get it without talking to you. Because, money seemed like the only solution to all my life problems. I put in so much effort to get the money (legally and illegally š). But then, after all my efforts, I had it and still couldnāt understand why I got sad by the day. I made enough money but couldnāt tell where it all went to. I tried various investments but all my funds ended up down the drain. This was a difficult time for me, I just couldnāt understand what the problem was. It felt like my supposed to be source of happiness became the biggest frustration of my life š¤¦š.
As they say, āeveryone wants to love and be lovedā right? Iām part of that āeveryoneā. I thought I was in love with the āLove of my lifeā but didnāt know it was only a scam by my mind. I tried everything to love him and get him to love me too, he just wouldnāt š. I did everything I knew how to, gave him my body at some points, just to show him how much I loved him but at the end of the day, it wasnāt worth it because he just wouldnāt love me back š. After so much trial, I realized that I was looking for love in the wrong place. I realized that even if he loved me right back as much as I wanted, his love wouldnāt satisfy the longings of my soul. I realized that the only one I can love and would also love me beyond my expectation is You. Iām sorry for thinking I could find your kind of love elsewhere ššš.
I thought I could successfully make friends and build relationships without You Father, but I ended up engaging with the wrong people who took me further away from You. I thought they always had my best interest at heart but rather, they took me further into the dark š¤¦.
āJoin the trendā they said. āBe classyā they said. Then, I went ahead and threw all my beautiful dresses away, went shopping for the ātrendy and classyā outfits. It was okay for me to wear them. It looked good in the eyes. I think I kinda liked it. I had little skin open here and there and that was fun. I had everyoneās attention on me everywhere I went (just what I think Iād wanted all my life). I was happy until I went somewhere one day and my innocence was taken from me š. This is by far still the worse day of my life. I wish I could rewind things and correct my wrongs. I wish it all never happened š. I wish I never met those people š. I wish I never left You Father ššš.
āItās just a movieā she said. āItās just a songā he said. Little did I know that that was their way of initiating me into their world. Little did I know that my life was about to be ruined. Little did I know that the āhabitsā that I had always scorned were about to become mine. Slowly and slowly, I found myself getting deep into the āhabitsā. I wanted to stop every single time but I couldnāt, instead I got deeper into it. Iām not sure how I feel about myself anymore but Iād rather not hide from You Father because I know Youāre the only one who can help me out of my predicament š.
Iām ashamed to go on with this letter anymore today Father. I feel too filthy to continue this conversation. Let me stop here for today and go on to cry my sins away. Iād be back soon Father.
Isaiah 1:18 KJV āCome now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as woolā
Iād see you soon. Donāt forget to share with your family, friends and loved ones š¤