Confession of a Lost Daughter 2 👩‍🦯

Dear Father,

It’s been a week since I wrote to you and I must say that the love has been overwhelming 🤗. I know I still have much to say to You but before I begin, I’d like to say a big “Thank you” to You.

Thank you for how you embraced me and showered your love on me after my first letter to you 😍. Thank you for how you’ve started helping me make little choices by the day to improve our relationship. Thank you for that soothing voice of Yours that I’m beginning to hear again 🤭. Thank you for giving me the gift of men who have started to help me up back in my Relationship with You 😊.

It amazes me that even though I’m not done with my confessions to You, You’re already forgiving me. Your arms are ready to receive me. You’re back to treating me as Your daughter that I’m. Thank You Father, I’m really grateful 🙏. This love is overwhelming 🤭. But as the overthinker that I’m 🤦, I can’t fully accept this love until I’m done with my confessions and that’s why I’m back again today to continue.

Before we parted ways, I needed money so badly and was ready to do everything to have it. So, I thought maybe I could just find other ways to get it without talking to you. Because, money seemed like the only solution to all my life problems. I put in so much effort to get the money (legally and illegally 🙈). But then, after all my efforts, I had it and still couldn’t understand why I got sad by the day. I made enough money but couldn’t tell where it all went to. I tried various investments but all my funds ended up down the drain. This was a difficult time for me, I just couldn’t understand what the problem was. It felt like my supposed to be source of happiness became the biggest frustration of my life 🤦😭.

As they say, “everyone wants to love and be loved” right? I’m part of that “everyone”. I thought I was in love with the “Love of my life” but didn’t know it was only a scam by my mind. I tried everything to love him and get him to love me too, he just wouldn’t 😓. I did everything I knew how to, gave him my body at some points, just to show him how much I loved him but at the end of the day, it wasn’t worth it because he just wouldn’t love me back 😭. After so much trial, I realized that I was looking for love in the wrong place. I realized that even if he loved me right back as much as I wanted, his love wouldn’t satisfy the longings of my soul. I realized that the only one I can love and would also love me beyond my expectation is You. I’m sorry for thinking I could find your kind of love elsewhere 🙏😭😓.

I thought I could successfully make friends and build relationships without You Father, but I ended up engaging with the wrong people who took me further away from You. I thought they always had my best interest at heart but rather, they took me further into the dark 🤦.

“Join the trend” they said. “Be classy” they said. Then, I went ahead and threw all my beautiful dresses away, went shopping for the “trendy and classy” outfits. It was okay for me to wear them. It looked good in the eyes. I think I kinda liked it. I had little skin open here and there and that was fun. I had everyone’s attention on me everywhere I went (just what I think I’d wanted all my life). I was happy until I went somewhere one day and my innocence was taken from me 😭. This is by far still the worse day of my life. I wish I could rewind things and correct my wrongs. I wish it all never happened 😓. I wish I never met those people 😞. I wish I never left You Father 😭😭😭.

“It’s just a movie” she said. “It’s just a song” he said. Little did I know that that was their way of initiating me into their world. Little did I know that my life was about to be ruined. Little did I know that the “habits” that I had always scorned were about to become mine. Slowly and slowly, I found myself getting deep into the “habits”. I wanted to stop every single time but I couldn’t, instead I got deeper into it. I’m not sure how I feel about myself anymore but I’d rather not hide from You Father because I know You’re the only one who can help me out of my predicament 😭.

I’m ashamed to go on with this letter anymore today Father. I feel too filthy to continue this conversation. Let me stop here for today and go on to cry my sins away. I’d be back soon Father.

Isaiah 1:18 KJV “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool”

I’d see you soon. Don’t forget to share with your family, friends and loved ones 🤗